No bouncing in the apartment

Take four people – three who are used to playing basketball inside the house.

Reduce the square footage from a 4,000 ft. rental to a 1,000 ft. rental. Go from a house to an apartment and what will you have – one hell of an adventure and hopefully we don’t drive our neighbors crazy or go crazy ourselves.

Today, my husband and I signed a three month lease for an apartment. We were told this weekend we have to move because the rental we are living in was sold. So now we have until March 17 to pack, clean and move. In between that there are some basketball games, some freelance assignments, work and decisions to be made about one aging dog.

We are hoping by mid-June our real estate agent will have worked his magic and sold our home in Silverton so that we can start looking for a house in Wilsonville.  OK, truth is I pray about selling my house every moment I get.

A few days ago, I was feeling pretty low – OK really low. It’s not the moving I mind – it’s the worries about locking myself into a lease. Fortunately, the apartment manager understood our situation and agreed to a three month lease. A really good thing that makes me breathe a little easier.

In the long run, downsizing will be a blessing. Less rent + Less space to clean equals more time to do things. We are taking only our beds, a table, a few chairs, clothes, the couch and the TV. A few dishes and pots and pans. Everything else into storage.

I am trying to convince my husband we should get air mattresses and bean bag chairs so we don’t have to move beds or a couch up three flights of stairs but he’s not there yet. Guess I will have to nag a little more until I get my way.

Mostly, I need to remember to count my blessings. Life isn’t perfect – far from it. But it’s good. No, it’s actually great. I have three people who I love more than all the chocolate in the world and as long as we are together – life is good. And I know it will get better.

Plus I quite certain living in apartment with two teens and a husband will provide some interesting material to write about.

Get ready for some fun?

And if things get really crazy, there’s always Jon and Stephen to cheer me up.

If I could dedicate a song to my children, it would be ,,,

If I could dedicate a song to my children, it would be "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts.

Here are the lyrics:

"My Wish"

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

Don't want to pack or make choices

Life is about choices.

Each choice leads to the next choice. And every choice has a consequence – either good or bad.

That's all easy to say but sometimes making a choice isn't easy.

Have you ever been in a place where you wish you could have someone else make a choice for you? Or had a crystal ball to see where your choice takes you.

Yesterday, we learned the house we are renting in Wilsonville has sold. We have to move by March 31.

I am happy for the homeowners that they sold their house. And I am happy to move as the house we are living in is too big and I am tired of cleaning every time a real estate agent calls.

What I am stressed about is what do we do next? There are hundreds of decisions to make and I don’t feel prepared to make any of them. Do we rent an apartment or a house? What about Bailey? Do we sign a year lease or a six month lease?

All those choices would be easy to make if we sell our house in Silverton. We can’t buy a house until it sells.

And it’s the house in Silverton that has me stumped. I don’t want to sign a year or even a six month contract if the house sells. Our hope is our house will sell soon and we can purchase a house here in Wilsonville.

We looked at a townhouse and an apartment today, leaving me seeing the glass half empty – rather than half full. I know I should be grateful to have a roof over my head and I shouldn’t care where I live but … not excited about moving, living in such close quarters … yes, a bad attitude.

I know I should look at this an opportunity, an adventure, a chance to do something new but right I know I have a headache.

Where has time flown?

To help pay for college, I waited tables during the summer.

Carrying one or two plates wasn’t a problem. Three to four plates, I could do it. Five or more, I would start to stress. There were several occasions I had to carry a tray with eight plates.

And there were several times, I lost balance of the tray only to watch in panic as the plates slid off the tray, crashed on the floor and food flew in every direction. Yes, it was embarrassing but mostly I felt terrible because the lunch guests had to wait even longer for their lunch.

After this happened one busy lunch rush, I recall taking an order from a five businessmen.

“Can we trust you to get our food to us and on the table or will it end up on the floor,” a man sarcastically asked.

It’s been 20 days since I wrote a post for my blog and I am feeling like I dropped a tray of food on the floor.

It seems the more I try to add to my life, the more I tend to drop something. With responsibilities at work, for my family, sharing the computer with my children and husband and sheer exhaustion, I haven’t had the time to write or exercise. I am only working out twice a week.

What I am trying to figure out is how to do it all with dropping something. There’s so much on my do to list that I really want to do but I haven’t figured out how to do it all.

Any suggestions?

Plum tired of worrying - Confession of a Worry Wart

Stephanie Plum and I don't have much in common.

She’s a New Jersey girl. I have visited the state. She’s a kick-ass bounty hunter and has two men in her life. I reign over dirty dishes and endless laundry.

She’s the protagonist in Janet Evanovich’s books and I like to read Evanovich’s books because they make me laugh and forget my worries.

What Plum and I do have in common – are mothers are worriers. But Plum is much smarter than I am because she doesn’t worry as much as I do.

And I worry – a lot.

Living in Trenton, New Jersey, Stephanie stumbles from one source of mischief to the next while trying to solve the latest mystery. Problem is her mom’s not too thrilled her daughter is a bounty hunter toting a gun and having her car blown to smithereens more than once. If Stephanie’s even five minutes late to dinner at 6, her mother is ready to call the morgue, then the cops.

Despite the situations she gets herself into, Stephanie Plum doesn’t seem too concerned. Yes, she worries about money, sometimes men. She eats without care – donuts, fast food, her mom’s meals made from scratch… And even though she knows little about being a bounty hunter, she tackles the job with enthusiasm and is fearless while also a little naïve. And when things go wrong, she bounces up and gets even.

Me, I worry about everything – will my car start, will I get pulled over if I am going 45 in a 40 mph zone, my kids, money, my mom, my sister, my brother, my friends, my nieces and nephews, my mother in law, paying for college, will what I wrote offend someone, what’s happening in the world, the economy, …. Yes, I am a terrible worry wart.

“Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight,” Benjamin Franklin was quoted as saying.

Well, Ben, I have tried to keep in the sunlight but then I read something in the newspaper or see something on TV and my overactive imagination kicks into gear and I worry. What if..? Should I…? Why hasn’t… ? Have I…

Yes, I am ashamed at worrying about the things that have never materialized and for not having more faith. It’s not out of spite that I worry. More out of love and wanting to protect those I love from ever having harm come their way.

My worrying stems from when I was 12 years old and I awoke to the sound of my mom opening the door to two police officers who told her my dad had died in a car accident. So if someone is late coming home, I go to the worst possible scenario possible. Wrong – yes. Do I try not to do this? Yes. But old habits are hard to break and I am working to break this one.

What I am slowly learning is that worry about things that haven’t happened yet can cause hurt feelings, causing more harm than good.  

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened,” a quote by Mark Twain.

Yes, Mr. Twain. I get what you are saying. There are things that happened and there are things you only imagine might possibly happen. And isn’t it best to worry about things when they actually happen then to worry about the things that never have occurred? And isn’t it best to keep my worries to myself – which I do about 80 percent of the time. It’s the 20 percent of the time that gets me in hot water.

Indian philosopher Mahatma Gandhi once said, “There is nothing that wastes the body like worry and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.”

And it’s his advice I need to follow.

Giving up chocolate will be a lot easier than to stop worrying.

But it’s something I have to do if I want to and those I love to live in the present.  

“Pick the day. Enjoy it - to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come... The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present, and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future.” Audrey Hepburn

Do you allow people to change?

At my house in Silverton, I knew the daffodils would bloom on the hill between two oak trees. I knew the tulips were next to the stone wall in the front yard.

At the house we are renting, I don’t know what flowers have been planted.
I spied these leaves poking through the dirt and leaves outside the dining room window. I think it looks like a tulip but only time will tell and I am eager to see what it will become.

With each season, we know change happens. We know fall has arrived when we see the leaves turn from green to brilliant red, orange or a golden yellow. Winter announces it is on stage when the deciduous trees are naked – that’s what Blake once told me.  And it’s spring when the leaves uncurl from a long winter’s nap.

Why is it we are willing to accept the change in seasons yet less likely to accept a person can change?

How many times in a day do we judge a person? Once you form an opinion of someone, does it always stay that way? Or do you allow them to grow or yourself to forgive? For just a moment, think how you feel when someone labels you. Now ask why you label others. Have you ever let someone's label - whether it's their religion, politics, race, ... - sway you from forming a friendship?

Either volunteering in the schools or visiting them as a journalist over the many, many years, I have unfortunately heard some teachers and parents label kids. Good kid, bad kid. Smart kid. Kid who struggles. Some kids have the resilience to fight the labels. And some kids buy into what people say, lacking the tools to know how to change.

When I was in seventh grade, I was so shy I was afraid to talk to anyone. In high school, I thought about being a journalist but dismissed the idea because there was no way I could interview people so I resorted to taking photographs – safely hiding behind the lens. I am thankful for my boss at the Boston public relations firm I worked at for sitting me down and telling me I was a journalist and then setting up a meeting with his friend who was the editor of a weekly newspaper. Sometimes, it takes others seeing in you what you can’t see yourself and providing you with the encouragement to change.

As someone who has written her fair share of obituaries, I think that’s the only time someone should be labeled because his or her story is complete.

Until then, we should wait to see how the seasons of a person’s life bring about change.
And rejoice in who they are at the moment and who they are the next time we meet them.

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.
Gail Sheehy, author and journalist.

When you are through changing, you are through.
Bruce Barton, author, politician, served in the U.S. Congress and advertising executive.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr, American theologian and commentator on public affairs

Working toward a common goal - A Dill Award

Maybe, it is because the women preparing the meals have reputations as top-notch cooks the lines grew from 40 to more than 400 people.

Maybe, it’s because people know regardless of their circumstances in life, they are welcome.

Or maybe it’s because volunteers believe in a common goal and are willing to work to make it happen.

Whatever the reasons, people flock to the Community Dinners held every Wednesday night at First Christian Church in Silverton.

The volunteers who host the free dinners have been honored with the Silverton Chamber of Commerce’s 2011 Distinguished Service Award, with individual recognition going to First Christian Church Pastor Steve Knox, Cherry Hoffman, Karen Brock, Julie Bersin and Lynn Koig.

“I think what makes the dinners successful is teamwork. If we didn’t have teamwork, the dinners wouldn’t have continued,” Bersin said. “We have people from different churches helping out and volunteers who show up and ask what they can do to help. I think the dinners show what can happen when a bunch people work together for a common cause – to help people - to make a difference in our community.”

Working in retail, Karen Brock of First Christian Church saw what was happening to businesses in Silverton and the impact it had on people, many who had lost their jobs in 2008.

“It bothered me that there were so many people going without food and I felt strongly that I needed to do something,” Brock said.

She met with Knox and shared her idea of providing a weekly community dinner. She convinced Bersin and Hoffman to help out. The first dinner they served, 39 people attended. Now, the average is 400.

“Twenty years ago, you wouldn’t see the three different churches working together, now they are,” Brock said. “We don’t evangelize to people. We just welcome them and feed them.”

Silverton residents Carol Centers-Douthit and Fred Douthit nominated the Community Dinners for the award citing, “The concept of providing a safe place for community members to gather and partake in a meal with no strings attached has certainly met a community need.

“Organizers spend countless hours of their own time each week, preparing and cleaning up afterward the meal,” they wrote. “They have embraced other service organizations that have offered their support for the program, which, in turn, engages even more people in community service.”

As she chopped tomatoes, 79-year-old Shirley Cavanaugh said she started volunteering at the dinners almost three years ago with her fellow parishioners from St. Paul’s Catholic Church.

“I think people come here because besides feeding their bodies, we also feed their souls,” Cavanaugh said. “I know people who are lonely and they come here for the friendship.”

Although guests may be greeted by him or a Mount Angel Abbey seminarian, there is no evangelizing, Knox said.

“We want our actions to speak louder than our words,” Knox said. “We want God’s love to radiate and we want to be a place open to all and where all feel comfortable coming.”

Too often, society finds a way to separate people whether it is by their religion, income or politics, Knox said.

What makes the Wednesday Community Dinners special is all that is forgotten because everyone shares the belief and the desire to do something to benefit the community, Knox said.

“This dinner is about the larger ecumenical community – we are just the host church – and we believe God has a hand in it,” Knox said. “We enjoy seeing the friendships that have formed because of this and how people have stepped up to help out.”

Stirring a crock pot filled with chicken and gravy, Bersin estimates more than 50,000 meals have been served since the program began in the fall of 2008.

Although she worries each week if she has prepared enough food, Bersin said they have never run out.

“There was one evening I was sure we would run out of food,” she said laughing. “We told Pastor Knox to go and pray. We opened the oven and there were two trays of food.”

They take leftovers to St. Joseph’s Shelter in Mount Angel. They receive food donations from Silverton Area Community Aid, Marion-Polk Food Share, Bruce-Pac and individuals. When the dinners started four years ago, the group received a $100 donation from First Christian Church to purchase food. They have never used it because every week they receive donations from individuals – anywhere from a handful of coins to $20 and have always been in the black.

Brock has talked to many seniors who are either widows or widowers.

“I had someone tell me that he knows he can come here on a Wednesday night and get a hot meal and not have to eat out of a can over his kitchen sink,” she said. “Another family moved here on a Wednesday, saw our sign and stopped in. They said they had no idea how they were going to feed their five children that night.”

They have high school students who are “couch surfers,” including one who comes after school on Wednesdays and naps on the couch until dinnertime.

“There was a homeless man who came to dinner and afterward a member of our church and another church drove him to the Union Gospel Mission,” Brock said. “Everyone is welcome here.”

They served Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners – always on real plates with silverware donated from the Mount Angel Abbey. Volunteers include St. Paul’s Catholic, First Christian, Immanuel Lutheran and Friends churches, Canyonview Camp staff, 4-H groups, high school students and Boy Scouts from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

As Carol Anderson shops for food for the dinners, she often meets other volunteers or dinner guests – who refer to her as “Catholic Carol.”

“I have found a friendlier community because of these dinners,” she said. “I now know people I would have never met if it hadn’t been for the dinners. I am grateful for Father William and Pastor Steve working together and grateful for all the people who come from all walks of life working together for a common goal.”

Kristine Thomas