Plum tired of worrying - Confession of a Worry Wart

Stephanie Plum and I don't have much in common.

She’s a New Jersey girl. I have visited the state. She’s a kick-ass bounty hunter and has two men in her life. I reign over dirty dishes and endless laundry.

She’s the protagonist in Janet Evanovich’s books and I like to read Evanovich’s books because they make me laugh and forget my worries.

What Plum and I do have in common – are mothers are worriers. But Plum is much smarter than I am because she doesn’t worry as much as I do.

And I worry – a lot.

Living in Trenton, New Jersey, Stephanie stumbles from one source of mischief to the next while trying to solve the latest mystery. Problem is her mom’s not too thrilled her daughter is a bounty hunter toting a gun and having her car blown to smithereens more than once. If Stephanie’s even five minutes late to dinner at 6, her mother is ready to call the morgue, then the cops.

Despite the situations she gets herself into, Stephanie Plum doesn’t seem too concerned. Yes, she worries about money, sometimes men. She eats without care – donuts, fast food, her mom’s meals made from scratch… And even though she knows little about being a bounty hunter, she tackles the job with enthusiasm and is fearless while also a little naïve. And when things go wrong, she bounces up and gets even.

Me, I worry about everything – will my car start, will I get pulled over if I am going 45 in a 40 mph zone, my kids, money, my mom, my sister, my brother, my friends, my nieces and nephews, my mother in law, paying for college, will what I wrote offend someone, what’s happening in the world, the economy, …. Yes, I am a terrible worry wart.

“Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight,” Benjamin Franklin was quoted as saying.

Well, Ben, I have tried to keep in the sunlight but then I read something in the newspaper or see something on TV and my overactive imagination kicks into gear and I worry. What if..? Should I…? Why hasn’t… ? Have I…

Yes, I am ashamed at worrying about the things that have never materialized and for not having more faith. It’s not out of spite that I worry. More out of love and wanting to protect those I love from ever having harm come their way.

My worrying stems from when I was 12 years old and I awoke to the sound of my mom opening the door to two police officers who told her my dad had died in a car accident. So if someone is late coming home, I go to the worst possible scenario possible. Wrong – yes. Do I try not to do this? Yes. But old habits are hard to break and I am working to break this one.

What I am slowly learning is that worry about things that haven’t happened yet can cause hurt feelings, causing more harm than good.  

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened,” a quote by Mark Twain.

Yes, Mr. Twain. I get what you are saying. There are things that happened and there are things you only imagine might possibly happen. And isn’t it best to worry about things when they actually happen then to worry about the things that never have occurred? And isn’t it best to keep my worries to myself – which I do about 80 percent of the time. It’s the 20 percent of the time that gets me in hot water.

Indian philosopher Mahatma Gandhi once said, “There is nothing that wastes the body like worry and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.”

And it’s his advice I need to follow.

Giving up chocolate will be a lot easier than to stop worrying.

But it’s something I have to do if I want to and those I love to live in the present.  

“Pick the day. Enjoy it - to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come... The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present, and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future.” Audrey Hepburn