It's your choice

I remember my Grandma Christine telling my mom she had a choice on how she could handle my dad’s death – she could sit in the corner and cry about what has happened to her and her children or she can get up and make the best of it and raise her children the way my dad would have wanted.

You don’t always get to choose what happens in your life, she said, but you get to choose how you deal with it.

I was 12 years old when my dad died but my grandma’s advice stays with me daily. There are no words to describe the pain of losing my dad and the ache that still lingers in my heart many years later.

But his death made me who I am.
And for that I am grateful.
His death has given me the strength to bear what seems like unbearable moments, to remember to be grateful for the love and friendship I have, actually be grateful for everything I have, and to know I am a strong woman who can handle what comes her way.

Most importantly, my grandma taught me life is about choices.  

Yes, sometimes I choose unwisely and allow pride, selfishness or stubbornness steer me in a direction where I do or say something I later regret. But it’s always my choice whether I make amends or say I am sorry.

The reason I was out-of-shape is because I made the choice to do nothing and made excuses to eat poorly and not exercise.  

How I handle what life brings to me is always a choice.

I can choose to be happy or I can choose to feel sorry for myself. I can choose to work harder toward my goals and dream or I can choose to sit on the couch and watch TV. I can choose to say I don’t have time to exercise, read, write… or I can get up and just get it done.

And with every choice there is a consequence. If I choose to eat six no bake cookies, I will pay for that choice with a sugar high and then a crash. If I choose to procrastinate writing a story, I will pay for that choice with sloppy copy.

Today, I met a 93-year-old woman who looked more like 70 years old.  She volunteers in the morning and then spends the afternoon reading.

What’s your secret to a long life and looking great? I asked.

“Never be grumpy,” she said. “It affects your health. Appreciate everything from the birds singing nearby to your friends. And don’t go chasing after things just because you think you need them.”

Life, after all, is about choices, she added.

Here’s hoping you find the strength to make the choices in your life that bring you the joy and happiness you deserve.

It's your choice.